UNWANTED VISITORS.

Some nights are just held waters waiting to get loose. Not the kind of water that flows from the ground or fall from the sky to rid us of heat and even “wash away our tears”; the kind of water that flows from within us, threatening to be unstoppable and bringing with it pains tucked away from a long time ago, pains stacked up from a short while ago, pains just incurred, and major pains that were dismissed for minor – same goes for the first few moments of awakening from a nice long sleep after a tragic happening.  I call them our most unwanted visitors and I always wonder why they choose the times when the body and the mind should be getting the most rest to unrest us and even settle deeper. I wonder why they choose your most comforting moments to whisper “why are you this comfortable when you just lost so and so and would never get it back?” I wonder why we have to feel one pain over and over again. I wonder why even after healing from a certain pain, there’s always that possibility of it being reopened and hurting even more than the last time you had to feel it. I wonder why we have to feel them every single time they force themselves on us and how we can’t just send them away. For the most part, I wonder if they would ever leave one day and never return.

It is of utmost importance to understand and always keep at the back of your mind that every single pain you feel will not last forever; nothing does. No matter the intensity and severity of your pain, it will get better. It may not disappear overnight because, just like every other kind of wound, it takes time to heal even if affliction happened in the blink of an eye and that’s usually the case. By it getting better, I don’t mean it would go away and you would get to live painlessly ever after; but it will get better in ways that will enable you to get some natural rest on most nights than not; it will get better by fading out so thin that you will be able to force a smile when it comes knocking in the middle of the day and give it a firm “not today” and actually have it obey you and leave; you will be able to smile more than you cry and on days when you can’t have that, you would be able to just get lost in a book or a movie or even just a cup of tea – and you will appreciate that moment because even though it didn’t bring a smile or laughter, it didn’t bring your tears or sorrow; you will have more peace than the lack of it and you will appreciate and hold it dear; you will be able look back at your pain and reminisce on how much stronger it made you and how polished it left you after the hard scrub it gave you. Staring directly or looking back, you will appreciate that even when some pains never leave; they never stay the same or increase as long as you face them, accept them, and work towards healing them.

 Like everything else worth having, there is no shortcut to overcoming major pains but the long healing process is absolutely worth it in the end. So hang on in there, trust God because He always has a reason for everything and would always have your back and come through for you, and never give up hope of healing from any kind of pain and being happy again. While you’re at it, remember and try not to cause your loved ones damaging pain to the best of your ability, give people a chance to care for you and when it gets to painful that all your need is some healthy space, make it known gently and kindly.  I mean, what are happy days with no loved ones to share them with because you pushed everyone away while you were hurting? I know. Hope. Love. Heal. Feel. Smile. Rise.

GRIEF AND THE MANY QUESTIONS IT ASKS

Grief is a heavy burden that we all must bear at some point in our lives. It is a storm that sweeps through our hearts, leaving wreckage in its wake, demanding answers, nagging and nagging and nagging. The weight of loss can feel unbearable, like a crushing weight on our chest that makes it hard to breathe. Beloved, breathe!

“Why is everyone continuing when I’ve lost a huge part of my life?” “Nothing makes sense anymore, yet it does sometimes. Why am I so conflicted?” — In the depths of grief, it can feel as though the world has lost its color, its vibrancy fading into shades of gray. Memories of happier times can bring both comfort and pain, reminding us of what once was and what will never be again. It is a tumultuous journey through a landscape of sorrow, where every step forward feels like a monumental effort.

“Why do I feel so alone in this?” — Grief can sometimes be excruciatingly isolating, most times it feels like you are stuck in the desert with no sign of another life in sight for months on end. But amidst the darkness of grief, there is also a glimmer of light. It is the light of memories, the warmth of love that still lingers in our hearts. It is the reassurance that though our loved ones may have left this world, their spirit lives on in us, guiding us through the darkest of days.

“My people have also experienced this same loss, why can’t they understand my pain?” — Grief is a process, a journey that is unique to each individual. It ebbs and flows like the tide, sometimes overwhelming us with its intensity — like in this moment when all I wanted to do was type “breathe” as I felt the waves of grief but alas, it demanded to be sat with and here I am; sat and typing away all that comes to mind — and other times it just recedes into the background. It is important to remember that it is okay to grieve, to feel the depth of our emotions without judgment or expectation.

“Why does it hurt so much?” “Why am I so out of control with this?” “Why can’t I get used to it?” — As we navigate the turbulent waters of grief, it is essential to be gentle with ourselves, to allow ourselves the time and space to heal. Surrounding ourselves with love and support, leaning on friends and family for comfort, can help ease the burden of grief and remind us that we are not alone in our pain.

“When does it stop?” — short answer, it may not stop ever. But as time passes, the sharp edges of grief may soften, the ache in our hearts may lighten. We may never fully “get over” our loss, but we can learn to carry it with grace, to honor the memory of our loved ones by living our lives with purpose and meaning.

Grief is a profound and complex experience, one that touches us to the core of our being. Through the tears and the heartache, we can find moments of beauty and resilience, reminders that even in our darkest hour, there is still hope, still light, still love. So, beloved, breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

A EULOGY TO THE QUEEN MOTHER, HUSSAINA A’ISHA NAKOM ADAMU

If anyone had told me I would be writing a tribute to my mum just three weeks ago, I would’ve used the favorite rebuttal phrase of every Nigerian; “GOD FORBID” but here we are. You see, God forbids bad things and we will all agree death isn’t one of those – not for everyone anyway – at least I know it wasn’t a bad thing for the one woman who taught me and a truckload of many other people, young and old, of all genders, ethnicity, religions, and every other social class you can think of a whole lot; top of the list being kindness and compassion. Even as I write this, I lack the words to properly eulogize this jewel of inestimable value but I’ll try.

My mother lived a life of GOD CONCIOUSNESS. Any and everything she did, she made sure she asked and understood how God saw it and what it meant for her in His eyes after all was said and done. Being someone who had to fight for what she believed in at a tender age, she was not one to make compromises in matters of faith; she taught me to never bend God’s own rules to fit anywhere or suit anyone. The story of how she found Islam is one of strength, dedication, sacrifice, more strength, and love at its strongest and purest forms. Her complete submission and trust in whatever He decreed upon her was contagious; she would say “shi Allah ba ruwanshi da abinda muka shirya, in Ya tashi Nashi dole mu karba muyi godiya!” that’s “God doesn’t care (in a good way) what we have planned and when He does as He has planned, we must accept it and give thanks!” and it showed in everything that she did.

When it came to her marriage, my mother set a standard for her peers and also for us; my father, her husband, was the love of her life and she was never afraid or ashamed to make that clear to any and everyone. Having had to fight for her love at a very tender age, my mother taught me that sometimes being with the people that you love will cost you a lot and it’s up to you to decide whether that love is worth fighting for and whether or not you’re strong enough to fight for and win it. I remember their lovey-dovey moments like movie scenes and I know those moments – from warm, dramatic, hilarious, and even downright embarrassing for me and my siblings – have in a way shaped my idea of what an ideal marriage should look and feel like. Her favorite amongst the prophet’s wives was A’isha (RA); I remember her telling me she chose Aisha as her Islamic name after reading about Aisha (RA) and she plans on being emulating. Their love story was and is powerful and going into it can turn this little article into a full book, perhaps another time.

Before her demise, my mother led an exemplary life. Being a firm believer of the importance of family above all else in this world after God almighty, she imbibed in my siblings and I the wholesome love of family in every sense of the word ‘wholesome’; she didn’t care what anyone gave her in return, she just loved as should be and taught us to do the same. With that love for family came her unshaken support for anyone that needed it at any point in time and not even her being in need of support herself at some point deterred her.

She was a mother in every sense of the world and not only to the children she brought forth into this word herself but to hundreds of others. As a child, I would get confused when asked who my real siblings were because there were a lot of us living together as her children; she was what you could call a ‘groomer’. I remember feeling embarrassed by her stopping to correct someone being engaging in one form of bad behavior or the other on the road, then I would see how she would draw them close, get to know their parents f any, and before you could say “what next” my siblings and I had a new sister/brother and all embarrassment would’ve turned into awe. With her, it was all love.

She was a giver. Oh, my mother gave until she had nothing else to give and she didn’t even stop there. When she couldn’t give you what you physically needed, she would give you encouragement, kind words, and prayers. She gave all she could and had. I remember days when the going was rough and she would give out the last grains of food we had in the house; she would console us with “at least kunci na safe, kuma na san in Allah Ya yarda zamu samu na dare” that’s “at least you had breakfast and I know if God wills it, we will get something for dinner”. Her mantra was “WANDA KA BAYAR SHI NE NAKA RANAN QIYAMA, WANDA KA CI KASHI NE KAWAI!” meaning “WHAT YOU GIVE TO SOMEONE ELSE IS WHAT WILL BENEFIT YOU IN THE HEREAFTER, WHAT YOU EAT ONLY TURNS TO FEASES” Such was the selflessness of my mother, the woman who gave until she had nothing else to give.

She was a reader. She was a librarian who read any and every valuable book she could find. All her healthy years, I can’t think of a period she had no book to read. She always had her nose in a book, journal, paper and what have you. One can’t talk about her without mentioning how important books were to her. It’s one of the traits I got from her that id forever be thankful for.

My mother taught me, my siblings, and all of her other children love; the kind that gives even when it doesn’t receive, the kind that is compassionate, the kind that knows no gender, ethnicity, or religion’ she taught us love that sees God’s creation first before anything else. My mother taught me sacrifice and resilience; to always do what I could to make people’s lives easier and not harder. She taught me respect; to give any and everyone I come across respect and to never be where respect isn’t readily given or appreciated.  She taught me the value of family and how we are all connected to one source. She taught me kindness; to be kind to any and everyone regardless of whether they would give me kindness back or not. She taught me to seek knowledge like I have none and to be humble while at it. She taught me humility and confidence. She taught me so many things and I will forever be grateful to God almighty to have learned from such a teacher. Oh, it’s been such an honor to be her daughter and it would forever be an honor to be known as the child of such a beautiful soul.

“She metamorphosed from being my wife to my closest friend and guardian. She gave me hope when everybody deserted me including my family members. In fact, she’s the only one that always believed in me without any doubt. My prayer is for her to have everlasting favor from Allah and for Him to reward her with jannatul firdaus. I know the vacuum she left can never be filled by anyone!” ~ ADO SA’ADU (HUSBAND)

As for me, she was my best friend, my confidant, my mentor, and the light of my life. I pray she experiences a light brighter than the one she gave us while she was here with us and love purer than the one she gave us. I pray for Allah’s everlasting mercy and light upon her all through to jannah. I pray to lead the kind of life she led, and be al-waladin salih for her until we meet to part no more. I love her so very much and that would never be said in past tense. INNALILLAHI WA INNA ILAIHIR RAJI’UN!

OH DEATH. Tribute to Arc. Mohammed Arabo Abba by Mahmoud M Bello

Oh Death!!!

The past 3 weeks has been the worst of my life as far as my mind can accurately remember. In fact, the whole of 2020 till date has been from one calamity to the other. January I thought would’ve been the worst having been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, which nearly took me. But alhamdulillah, things are getting better.

Covid came with it’s very unpleasant surprises and restrictions to life and wellbeing. However, the last week of July came with a terrible knock on my life when I lost my uncle, a father and a guardian. Baba Kaduna exemplified everything a gentleman is.

I remember the last time we met in February was at Zahra’splace. He came to see Zahra as she was recovering from malaria. He spent over an hour with us talking and generally offering advices.

1st August came with the heaviest blow yet, when death took away my cousin Umaimah U. Aliyu in her sleep, we got the news in the afternoon and as shocking as that can be, death again struck it painful fangs when it took my brother, adviser and mentor Arc. Mohammed Arabo Abba. The pain of losing loved ones within two weeks is unexplainable. Arabo is one of those that always discouraged me from going back to Yola after my NYSC. He insisted I stay back and pursue my career and Express opportunities. I am where I am today hugely partly to his efforts and contributions.

For all of those Arabo had a connection with, none can say anything other than beautiful things about him. We pray Allah bless the souls of the departed and grant them all Jannah Firdaus and raise and bless all that is left behind of their children.

Ya Allah, you know certainly what no other mortal knows, and to You we are submissive of your will and doing, make this test on us easy and forgive our departed ones.

Arabo Abba has left a huge void that can’t be filled, not here in this world, and I pray my brother Isa Abba Modibbo finds the strength to live with this grief and hole as best as he could.

Life, indeed can never be the same without Baba Kaduna and Arabo Abba. They say time heals all wounds, but in truth, it can only to a certain extent numb the wounds for a brief period and one will learn how to live with the scars deeply etched in our hearts.

The testimonies coming from the people who have interacted with especially Baba and Arabo, made me remember the words of my grandfather Mal Abba Dahiru Zumo, “that this (death) can never be wished or thought of, but when it happens, the testimonies on the dead is what everyone wishes and loves to hear, as it soothes the heart”.

Ya Allah, we pray for your intercession and love for the departed, ease their affairs, expand their graves and grant them Jannah Firdaus ya arhamar raheemeen.

Mahmud M Bello

‘DA NA KOWA NE

There’s an old adage in Hausa that says “da na kowa ne” that can loosely translate to “a child belongs to everyone” that permitted all members of society to chip in on the moral and sometimes even the spiritual upbringing of a child; hence, supporting an African proverb that says “it takes a village to raise a child”. While growing up, we were always so very careful of how we went about our daily affairs because there was always one ‘baba’ or ‘mama’ in every corner of the street ready to give you a warm scolding and even a hot beating if your behavior warranted it; that is the reason why a lot of us have siblings beyond those given to us by the normal blood ties and our children will grow up to have aunties, uncles, and cousins they are not related to by blood.

At some point in time it all ended and almost everyone decided to just solely train their own child and neglect every other and today, we are evidently living the consequences of that decision. The question of whether the approach to child moral upbringing did more good than bad has been raised countless times over the years, especially with this generation of parent’s blatant rejection of the approach is the topic of discussion, and everything comes back to the society one lives in and how it values coincide with the values parents want to instill in their children to begin with; this brings us to one of the main issues when it comes to effective and proper child upbringing challenges in the north – the question of whether area of residence has a role to play in a child’s upbringing. It is quite evident that it does! Unless of course you can and would completely shield the child away from the outside world.

When a child goes south from the ‘tarbiyya’ his/her parents have been known to instill on him/her, you find people saying that child must have gotten corrupted by society  – “ya/ta dauko halin daba na gidansu ba” we will all say and it mostly is the truth of the situation. This is to say society does play a huge role in a child’s upbringing; so why do we now reject the help of the people in our immediate societies to raise our children? Truth is, once upon a time people were cautious of the societies they settled in; people ran checks referred to as ‘binciken mazauni’ to ascertain whether the people of a certain area had values one wants their child to adopt and won’t mind having members of such society help in imbibing those values in their child; they checked whether there were islamiyas and mosques or Sunday schools and churches close by, and whether or not they are suitable ones they would like to take teachings from for them and for their kids. I have a friend who still does ‘binciken mazauni’  and she doesn’t compromise on it in the littlest bit.

Nowadays, people just want to live where they can afford or where they can access a certain clientele base faster or in any area where there are access roads leading to or closest to their workplace. It has proven to be one of the many reasons why people no longer accept society members’ corrections of their children. I mean, that an area has good roads and is closer to the workplace doesn’t mean it is occupied by good people, right? Another reason is new generation parents feel they have it all figured out and won’t have anyone interfere with their own idea of perfect parenting and even think of scolding their child; they won’t have anyone scold their child for a wrong behavior, they won’t have anyone correct their child in the littlest way, and God forbid anyone raises a finger on their child; whether this is a mindset that has done more harm than good is story for another day.

As a parent/guardian living in northern Nigeria, do you believe ‘DA NA KOWA NE? Do you think the new generation of parents should try bringing back that old tradition? Do you think parents and parents to be should put their child’s upbringing in mind when seeking a place of residency, seeing that the society a child grows in plays a certain role in his or her overall upbringing? Does it really take a village to raise a child?! let’s talk.

 

 

NB: Article originally written for AREWATHROUGHMYEYES on insatgram, slightly modified.

 

‘HOW GOD CREATED_____’ CHALLENGE: IS IT PUSHING IT TOO FAR?

BISMILLAHIR-RAHMANIR-RAHIM.

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh!

I’ve seen so many challenges that have disturbed me since the beginning of this stay at home exercise but none has disturbed me as much as this “HOW GOD CREATED” challenge/skits. I keep thinking to myself “are we pushing the humor button too far or is it just me?” If you’re not a Muslim, this article is probably not for you but if you choose to continue reading, you can. We need to be careful about what we indulge in our need to wade off boredom. In our pursuit to laugh and make others laugh, we should always remember the Hadith that that was narrated by Ahmad where Prophet Muhammad S.A.W said “A man may say something to make his companions laugh, and he will fall into Hell as far as the Pleiades because of it.”

Scary are also the verses in Surah At-Tawbah warning about making jokes about the ayaats of Allah SWT: Verse 65 “And if you ask them, they will surely say, “We were only conversing and playing.” Say, “Is it Allah and His verses and His Messenger that you were mocking?”” And 66 “Make no excuse; you have disbelieved after your belief. If We pardon one faction of you – We will punish another faction because they were criminals.” To verse 66 Ibn Taimiyyah (rahimuhullah) said “Making fun of Allah, His Signs, and His Messenger is kufr (disbelief) and the one who does that disbelieves thereby after he had believed.” — is the creation of man not one of the signs (ayaats) of Allah?! To answer that, Allah says in Surah Al-Jathiya verse 3 “Indeed, within the heavens and the earth are signs (ayaat) for the believers.”

Shaykh Muhammad Ibn ‘Uthaymin said about the above: “The matters of Divine Lordship, Prophet-hood, Revelation and religion are sacred matters which are to be venerated. It is not permissible for anyone to show disrespect towards them, whether by mocking them to make others laugh or to make fun at them. If anyone does that, he is a kaafir, because this is indicative of his disrespect towards Allah and His Messengers, Books and Laws. Whoever does that has to repent to Allah for what he has done, because that is a kind of hypocrisy. So he has to repent to Allah, seek His forgiveness, mend his ways and develop fear of Allah, veneration towards Him and love for Him in his heart. And Allah is the Source of strength.

We need to really pause and look around us, the reality that nothing is guaranteed has never been more evident than it is right now; should we be using this time to piling up sins or working to erase our sins and getting closer to Allah?!

I know you’re thinking “what can a Muslim do to have fun then?”, you have a lot of options; read a book (self improvement books are a good option), learn a new language, exercise, learn a new skill or perfect one you already have, teach something you know very well, you can even share jokes as long as they fall under shariah guidelines (I’ll write about this too in shaa Allah). Most importantly, if you feel the boredom getting to heights where none of the above mentioned help, maybe Allah is inviting you to talk to him; recite the Quran or listen to it, pray nafilah and get immersed in du’a, recite dhikr and countless durood — and in shaa Allah, you will feel better.

May Allah SWT continue to guide us aright and grant us ease in this trying time. May He reward us for staying at home to reduce the spread of the virus and make our anxiety kaffara for us all. May He grant the sick quick and complete shifaa and receive the dead as martyrs, and reunite us all in Jannah. Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh!

WRITER’S BLOCK OR WRITER’S RUN.

So many times when people ask why I stopped writing as much as I used to, I reply with “I lost my writing mojo” and I get talks of how to get it back; some people genuinely feel sorry and want to motivate you to try again and get back into it, some just feel or say sorry and brush off the conversation, some others just feel or even say I wasn’t serious about writing in the first place because if I were serious about it, how would I just lose my mojo? All are right in their own individual reactions and contributions to this ‘ordeal’ but I’m not going to talk about either of these mentioned sets of people, lets talk about the writer – me.

There was something not entirely true about the response I constantly gave – the one about losing my writing mojo, it wasn’t entirely true – but I chose to give that response because in a way, I felt it was much easier than having to explain why I really couldn’t write then. You see, writing is a very tricky art and phenomenon; it’s addictive to say the least, it is more emotional than people think, it is as exposing as anything can get, and last but not the least, writing is more dangerous than we think it is. I know you’re thinking I’m back to being all creepy again but that’s not it – just hang on a bit, I’ll tell you why I feel all these about writing.

When you get into writing and you taste its sweetness and how liberating it is to be able to put down everything and anything to the littlest details even when you can’t voice them out, you get sucked into it and would rather keep writing everything down than not – in some more intense cases, you won’t be able to stop even if you want to.

I say everywhere that behind every written piece, there’s some sort of emotion that may or may not be admitted by the writer to have been the trigger. For every love story shared, there’s love in the heart of the writer; for every pain filled piece, there’s pain in the heart of the writer, for every piece that cracks you up and makes you laugh on end, the writer is feeling so much exhilaration and excitement; the list goes on and on but you already get what I mean. The point is writing exposes you in ways you can’t imagine. I like to see the above mentioned writing perks as blessings and curses all in one; imagine being able to take someone out of a sad place to a beautiful place filled with so much happiness, joy, laughter and hoe – such a blessing! It bears you to every eye, mind, and heart that consumes your written pieces. It leaves you open to your audience so much so that when your heart’s most dominant emotion s pain or anger, the only words that flow from within you to the tips of your fingers is pain or anger and when you can’t mask this most dominant emotion in order to be able to write uplifting or even normal day to day leisure pieces, you take the safest way around and write less. Write nothing. The safest way around may not be the best way around it but that is a topic for another day. Again, we choose to refer to it as ‘writer’s block’. But is it?

About writing being dangerous, I like to think that writing binds and imprisons you to a certain written opinion. I mean, it is so easy to say something and have it die down with time and even go away permanently – as long as it isn’t recorded and kept in some cave in far away Africa, anyway (LOL) – or even just blatantly deny it whenever it comes up (that is if it is confrontation worthy) and all; but moving a written piece that goes on the web is stamped in time forever and can be used against you (even in the court of law) whenever the confrontational need arises. To this I’d say be careful what you write and how you write it especially if and when what you write is news worthy; fake news is one of the many leading causes of the lack of WORLD PEACE.

All in all, I think writing is a very beautiful art and it is worth every single thing that accompanies it. So feel free to write when you want to and hope you’re doing more good than bad with it and when you feel like the writing odds are more against you than for you and the safest thing for your heart, mind, body, soul, and spirit to do is run, please do that and take your time to refresh before facing the ink again – and feel free to call it a writer’s block – and then bounce back stronger than you left it. But by all means, WRITE WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE. Write hope. Write love. Write sadness. Write pain. Write happiness. Write. Share smiles. Share. ~ Maryam Ado

Fantasies, dreams, and reality.

So, I’ve come to realize over the years that we all sometimes grow into fantasies and illusions of how we want to live our lives and how we want to be seen by the world. Fantasies of how much wealth we should have at a particular point in time. Fantasies of how many kids we should have and how well they should all turn out in life. Fantasies of how every single thing and person we have invested in and even the world in its entirety should revolve around us. Yes, fantasies, illusions, dreams. 
These fantasies, while being normal when seen and treated as what they truly are (dreams and fantasies), can pose a serious threat of periodic and sometimes even permanent stagnation in a person’s life. I am in no way saying it is wrong to dream and be lost in the possibility of a perfect life, but does perfect even exist anywhere?!

Now while some people have the ability to see fantasies, dreams and illusions as just being that, and actually make efforts to either pursue them when possible or just enjoy them as such while pursuing other dreams that can better their lives, others do not possess such abilities and would rather pause whatever is of their lives and dwell on those dreams and fantasies that may never be. 

What comes after this fantasy-hitch? A person starts living a lie; wearing what they can’t afford; forcing friendship on people who are ‘out of their league’, putting their dignity in a questionable position; living in a bubble of lies and – in the process- forgetting who they truly are because they have told so many lies so many times, over and over again, that even they have built up belief in those lies. 

Personally, I think the greatest step anyone can take towards self destruction is living a lie for no matter how little a time; pushing your real self so far away from you and taking many turns away from it that even if/when you decide to get back in touch, you wouldn’t know where to look or where exactly to turn to get yourself back – you wouldn’t know how far back you need to turn, or where to start from, or even how to start. Oftentimes, the fantasy-hitched have to turn back and start all alone because while they put their lives on hold to live one that wasn’t, all the people that would’ve helped them through their journey didn’t stop moving and growing, and so they’re not going to be there anymore. 

You must be thinking ‘oh! Can we get on with it already?!’. Lol! 

All I’m saying in essence is learn to identify dreams and fantasies and be able to treat them as such; you can take a break from your life once in a while to live one of your fantasies, then wake up and keep moving; realize that time waits for no one and it most certainly won’t wait for you, move and grow with it; the earlier you wake up and start pursuing your reasonably achievable dreams and ambitions, the better for you; realize nobody on earth has a perfect life and it’s only as perfect as you can make it through striving to be the best you can be, perfect doesn’t exist; be content with whatever you have whenever, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be when you’re supposed to be; contrary to popular belief, you don’t have any control over your destiny, only your Creator does, trust Him; the whole world isn’t against you, you won’t achieve much – if at all – if you’re always plotting a revenge, and really, where’s the fun in that?!; you’re enough, you’re worthy, you deserve a good life, and ultimately, God loves you! Be you!

XoXo

Maryam Ado

Don’t get carried away pursuing the ‘success’ of this world.

​​Often times we get carried away by the life of this dunya that we forget that what truly matters in the end is how beautiful or otherwise our next life turns out to be – THE AKHIRA! I know you’ve started thinking “society has made us so”, who is society? Yes, your guess is good as mine – US! you and I and 7 billion other people. We are the society and we have placed greater importance on things that should be secondary than the primary. I’m sure a lot of us – if not all – won’t want to identify with this society in the hereafter. This society were parents send their children to the best schools so they can attain great heights in the world and lead successful lives, but neglect to send them to the most important school to acquire the most important knowledge which is the knowledge of God and how best to worship Him in order to attain the most important and a greater status – JANNAH. I am not saying that sending your children to the best schools isn’t a good thing to do as a parent. As a matter of fact, it is a great thing. However, the first duty of parents to their child is to secure his/her AKHIRA, everything else is a bonus. You can tell a child to fear Allah from now till the sky turns green and it won’t carry weight until you SHOW THEM HOW. You don’t fail as a parent when your child doesn’t become rich and famous in life, but when your child lives his/her life oblivious of the fact that there’s more to life than having a fat bank account and living large, thinking that’s the greatest form of success – that is when you have failed as a parent. Teach your children to be good people on the right track, show them how to lead meaningful lifestyles, let them acquire knowledge of the deen from the best schools/scholars of the deen, help them attain jannah; at the end of the day, it’s the only thing that truly matters because while being successful in this world can bring so much comfort, it’s just a temporary thing that can be cut short by death, the life of the AKHIRA is however unending, everlasting, eternal; now imagine having the child you love eternally doomed to hell because you didn’t make an effort to secure his akhira when you could – what other failure can be more painful?! Not imagine the exact opposite; your child in jannah, enjoying the enormous bounties of the gardens of jannah, knowing that you had a role to play in it. Subhanallah!!! It’s not too late to get started on the job. Allah guides whom He wills when He wills (may we be amongst them), but try we must. Yes, I know I’m not a parent and probably know nothing about parenting, but then I have eyes and a reminder benefits the believers. May Allah swt continue to guide us to what is right.

Rest in Allah’s rahma (mercy) and nur (light), Conqueror.

I’m at that stage – I have not the words for this great loss. I find consolation in the fact that he lived a good life, touched a lot of lives in many good ways, people have been saying nothing but good about him, and he died in this blessed month of forgiveness. Alhamdulillah for the life Nura lived. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. May Allah SWT adorn Muhammad Nura Abdullahi’s grave with His nur and rahma and grant him Jannatul Firdaus. May all of his shortcomings be forgiven and erased, and may all the good he did in his life, live for as long as the sun. Adieu, my friend and brother. Adieu, Soldier!

Maryam Ado