GRIEF AND THE MANY QUESTIONS IT ASKS

Grief is a heavy burden that we all must bear at some point in our lives. It is a storm that sweeps through our hearts, leaving wreckage in its wake, demanding answers, nagging and nagging and nagging. The weight of loss can feel unbearable, like a crushing weight on our chest that makes it hard to breathe. Beloved, breathe!

“Why is everyone continuing when I’ve lost a huge part of my life?” “Nothing makes sense anymore, yet it does sometimes. Why am I so conflicted?” — In the depths of grief, it can feel as though the world has lost its color, its vibrancy fading into shades of gray. Memories of happier times can bring both comfort and pain, reminding us of what once was and what will never be again. It is a tumultuous journey through a landscape of sorrow, where every step forward feels like a monumental effort.

“Why do I feel so alone in this?” — Grief can sometimes be excruciatingly isolating, most times it feels like you are stuck in the desert with no sign of another life in sight for months on end. But amidst the darkness of grief, there is also a glimmer of light. It is the light of memories, the warmth of love that still lingers in our hearts. It is the reassurance that though our loved ones may have left this world, their spirit lives on in us, guiding us through the darkest of days.

“My people have also experienced this same loss, why can’t they understand my pain?” — Grief is a process, a journey that is unique to each individual. It ebbs and flows like the tide, sometimes overwhelming us with its intensity — like in this moment when all I wanted to do was type “breathe” as I felt the waves of grief but alas, it demanded to be sat with and here I am; sat and typing away all that comes to mind — and other times it just recedes into the background. It is important to remember that it is okay to grieve, to feel the depth of our emotions without judgment or expectation.

“Why does it hurt so much?” “Why am I so out of control with this?” “Why can’t I get used to it?” — As we navigate the turbulent waters of grief, it is essential to be gentle with ourselves, to allow ourselves the time and space to heal. Surrounding ourselves with love and support, leaning on friends and family for comfort, can help ease the burden of grief and remind us that we are not alone in our pain.

“When does it stop?” — short answer, it may not stop ever. But as time passes, the sharp edges of grief may soften, the ache in our hearts may lighten. We may never fully “get over” our loss, but we can learn to carry it with grace, to honor the memory of our loved ones by living our lives with purpose and meaning.

Grief is a profound and complex experience, one that touches us to the core of our being. Through the tears and the heartache, we can find moments of beauty and resilience, reminders that even in our darkest hour, there is still hope, still light, still love. So, beloved, breathe. Breathe. Breathe.