A EULOGY TO THE QUEEN MOTHER, HUSSAINA A’ISHA NAKOM ADAMU

If anyone had told me I would be writing a tribute to my mum just three weeks ago, I would’ve used the favorite rebuttal phrase of every Nigerian; “GOD FORBID” but here we are. You see, God forbids bad things and we will all agree death isn’t one of those – not for everyone anyway – at least I know it wasn’t a bad thing for the one woman who taught me and a truckload of many other people, young and old, of all genders, ethnicity, religions, and every other social class you can think of a whole lot; top of the list being kindness and compassion. Even as I write this, I lack the words to properly eulogize this jewel of inestimable value but I’ll try.

My mother lived a life of GOD CONCIOUSNESS. Any and everything she did, she made sure she asked and understood how God saw it and what it meant for her in His eyes after all was said and done. Being someone who had to fight for what she believed in at a tender age, she was not one to make compromises in matters of faith; she taught me to never bend God’s own rules to fit anywhere or suit anyone. The story of how she found Islam is one of strength, dedication, sacrifice, more strength, and love at its strongest and purest forms. Her complete submission and trust in whatever He decreed upon her was contagious; she would say “shi Allah ba ruwanshi da abinda muka shirya, in Ya tashi Nashi dole mu karba muyi godiya!” that’s “God doesn’t care (in a good way) what we have planned and when He does as He has planned, we must accept it and give thanks!” and it showed in everything that she did.

When it came to her marriage, my mother set a standard for her peers and also for us; my father, her husband, was the love of her life and she was never afraid or ashamed to make that clear to any and everyone. Having had to fight for her love at a very tender age, my mother taught me that sometimes being with the people that you love will cost you a lot and it’s up to you to decide whether that love is worth fighting for and whether or not you’re strong enough to fight for and win it. I remember their lovey-dovey moments like movie scenes and I know those moments – from warm, dramatic, hilarious, and even downright embarrassing for me and my siblings – have in a way shaped my idea of what an ideal marriage should look and feel like. Her favorite amongst the prophet’s wives was A’isha (RA); I remember her telling me she chose Aisha as her Islamic name after reading about Aisha (RA) and she plans on being emulating. Their love story was and is powerful and going into it can turn this little article into a full book, perhaps another time.

Before her demise, my mother led an exemplary life. Being a firm believer of the importance of family above all else in this world after God almighty, she imbibed in my siblings and I the wholesome love of family in every sense of the word ‘wholesome’; she didn’t care what anyone gave her in return, she just loved as should be and taught us to do the same. With that love for family came her unshaken support for anyone that needed it at any point in time and not even her being in need of support herself at some point deterred her.

She was a mother in every sense of the world and not only to the children she brought forth into this word herself but to hundreds of others. As a child, I would get confused when asked who my real siblings were because there were a lot of us living together as her children; she was what you could call a ‘groomer’. I remember feeling embarrassed by her stopping to correct someone being engaging in one form of bad behavior or the other on the road, then I would see how she would draw them close, get to know their parents f any, and before you could say “what next” my siblings and I had a new sister/brother and all embarrassment would’ve turned into awe. With her, it was all love.

She was a giver. Oh, my mother gave until she had nothing else to give and she didn’t even stop there. When she couldn’t give you what you physically needed, she would give you encouragement, kind words, and prayers. She gave all she could and had. I remember days when the going was rough and she would give out the last grains of food we had in the house; she would console us with “at least kunci na safe, kuma na san in Allah Ya yarda zamu samu na dare” that’s “at least you had breakfast and I know if God wills it, we will get something for dinner”. Her mantra was “WANDA KA BAYAR SHI NE NAKA RANAN QIYAMA, WANDA KA CI KASHI NE KAWAI!” meaning “WHAT YOU GIVE TO SOMEONE ELSE IS WHAT WILL BENEFIT YOU IN THE HEREAFTER, WHAT YOU EAT ONLY TURNS TO FEASES” Such was the selflessness of my mother, the woman who gave until she had nothing else to give.

She was a reader. She was a librarian who read any and every valuable book she could find. All her healthy years, I can’t think of a period she had no book to read. She always had her nose in a book, journal, paper and what have you. One can’t talk about her without mentioning how important books were to her. It’s one of the traits I got from her that id forever be thankful for.

My mother taught me, my siblings, and all of her other children love; the kind that gives even when it doesn’t receive, the kind that is compassionate, the kind that knows no gender, ethnicity, or religion’ she taught us love that sees God’s creation first before anything else. My mother taught me sacrifice and resilience; to always do what I could to make people’s lives easier and not harder. She taught me respect; to give any and everyone I come across respect and to never be where respect isn’t readily given or appreciated.  She taught me the value of family and how we are all connected to one source. She taught me kindness; to be kind to any and everyone regardless of whether they would give me kindness back or not. She taught me to seek knowledge like I have none and to be humble while at it. She taught me humility and confidence. She taught me so many things and I will forever be grateful to God almighty to have learned from such a teacher. Oh, it’s been such an honor to be her daughter and it would forever be an honor to be known as the child of such a beautiful soul.

“She metamorphosed from being my wife to my closest friend and guardian. She gave me hope when everybody deserted me including my family members. In fact, she’s the only one that always believed in me without any doubt. My prayer is for her to have everlasting favor from Allah and for Him to reward her with jannatul firdaus. I know the vacuum she left can never be filled by anyone!” ~ ADO SA’ADU (HUSBAND)

As for me, she was my best friend, my confidant, my mentor, and the light of my life. I pray she experiences a light brighter than the one she gave us while she was here with us and love purer than the one she gave us. I pray for Allah’s everlasting mercy and light upon her all through to jannah. I pray to lead the kind of life she led, and be al-waladin salih for her until we meet to part no more. I love her so very much and that would never be said in past tense. INNALILLAHI WA INNA ILAIHIR RAJI’UN!