‘DA NA KOWA NE

There’s an old adage in Hausa that says “da na kowa ne” that can loosely translate to “a child belongs to everyone” that permitted all members of society to chip in on the moral and sometimes even the spiritual upbringing of a child; hence, supporting an African proverb that says “it takes a village to raise a child”. While growing up, we were always so very careful of how we went about our daily affairs because there was always one ‘baba’ or ‘mama’ in every corner of the street ready to give you a warm scolding and even a hot beating if your behavior warranted it; that is the reason why a lot of us have siblings beyond those given to us by the normal blood ties and our children will grow up to have aunties, uncles, and cousins they are not related to by blood.

At some point in time it all ended and almost everyone decided to just solely train their own child and neglect every other and today, we are evidently living the consequences of that decision. The question of whether the approach to child moral upbringing did more good than bad has been raised countless times over the years, especially with this generation of parent’s blatant rejection of the approach is the topic of discussion, and everything comes back to the society one lives in and how it values coincide with the values parents want to instill in their children to begin with; this brings us to one of the main issues when it comes to effective and proper child upbringing challenges in the north – the question of whether area of residence has a role to play in a child’s upbringing. It is quite evident that it does! Unless of course you can and would completely shield the child away from the outside world.

When a child goes south from the ‘tarbiyya’ his/her parents have been known to instill on him/her, you find people saying that child must have gotten corrupted by society  – “ya/ta dauko halin daba na gidansu ba” we will all say and it mostly is the truth of the situation. This is to say society does play a huge role in a child’s upbringing; so why do we now reject the help of the people in our immediate societies to raise our children? Truth is, once upon a time people were cautious of the societies they settled in; people ran checks referred to as ‘binciken mazauni’ to ascertain whether the people of a certain area had values one wants their child to adopt and won’t mind having members of such society help in imbibing those values in their child; they checked whether there were islamiyas and mosques or Sunday schools and churches close by, and whether or not they are suitable ones they would like to take teachings from for them and for their kids. I have a friend who still does ‘binciken mazauni’  and she doesn’t compromise on it in the littlest bit.

Nowadays, people just want to live where they can afford or where they can access a certain clientele base faster or in any area where there are access roads leading to or closest to their workplace. It has proven to be one of the many reasons why people no longer accept society members’ corrections of their children. I mean, that an area has good roads and is closer to the workplace doesn’t mean it is occupied by good people, right? Another reason is new generation parents feel they have it all figured out and won’t have anyone interfere with their own idea of perfect parenting and even think of scolding their child; they won’t have anyone scold their child for a wrong behavior, they won’t have anyone correct their child in the littlest way, and God forbid anyone raises a finger on their child; whether this is a mindset that has done more harm than good is story for another day.

As a parent/guardian living in northern Nigeria, do you believe ‘DA NA KOWA NE? Do you think the new generation of parents should try bringing back that old tradition? Do you think parents and parents to be should put their child’s upbringing in mind when seeking a place of residency, seeing that the society a child grows in plays a certain role in his or her overall upbringing? Does it really take a village to raise a child?! let’s talk.

 

 

NB: Article originally written for AREWATHROUGHMYEYES on insatgram, slightly modified.